Loud talkers

Posted in Uncategorized on October 8, 2009 by MotherAdmin

I am a loud person, I admit. I laugh loudly, turn the tv up loud and am generally pretty uninhibited in the volume department.

However, I do have the good sense to tone it down when I’m someplace where no one else is speaking. Like, the bus. We are all tired on our way home from work, we don’t feel like chatting except on our cell phones. However, it never ceases to amaze me how some people on the bus manage to talk into their cell phone in such a way that I can’t hear a word, and others are having one-sided conversations the whole bus can hear. Don’t you realize that you are the only person on this vehicle talking right now? You are the lone voice among 50 people. Can’t you feel the "uncomfortableness" we’re all feeling as we learn much more about your life than you’d share voluntarily among strangers?

Apparently not.


Why Didn’t I Think of Napping on the Toilet?

Posted in Uncategorized on October 6, 2009 by MotherAdmin

We have an administrative assistant who’s been at the company for 28 years. In that time, I expect she’s learned a few tricks about how to avoid working too hard. In fact, I’m sure she has–how else is one to survive this hellhole for nearly three decades? But that’s another story.

I notice that this woman takes a pretty long time in the restroom. Our restroom is pretty awful. No windows, no ventilation and that overpowering scent of cheap air freshener force-fed into the room. In short, you’re incentivized to get in and get out as quickly as possible. I, for one, don’t even hang around long enough to dry my hands (that’s why God created evaporation).

But this woman, she sits. And sits. Unmoving, her feet on the floor and not a peep out of the stall. At first, I thought it odd that I could walk in, see her feet, walk out into the parlor room (if you can even call a hallway with a plastic couch that), touch up my makeup. And not a movement from the washroom.

This has happened a couple of times now, and I’m past thinking she has embarassing digestive problems. It strikes me that after 30 years, she’s found the perfect breakroom. Its unassailable, its perfectly excusable, and better yet-no one knows you’re taking a break. You can even take a nap.

Times like these, I am reminded how inexperienced I really am when it comes to making it in the working world.

AOL: An Offensive Waste of Cyberspace

Posted in Technology on September 25, 2009 by MotherAdmin

Mo Rocca, a fabulous writer and humorous personality on NPR, has a website hosted by AOL. I found this so appalling that I was inspired to write the following to the invisible person who receives and reads those form-fill-out communications that some websites force you to fill out if you want to get their staff’s attention. Which is another thing I find appalling….

TO: Mo Rocca Webmail Reader
RE: http://www.morocca180.com/

Oh, Mo….
Today is my first visit to your website. And what do I see? A good-bye post. This is not surprising. Why? Several things:

1. Your website still has a link to AOL mail at the top. I bet I can count the number of AOL email accounts still in existence with a two-beaded abacus.

2. Your AOL website helpfully offers a “search the web” feature. Noooo, thank you. I think I can find it faster myself using the Dewey decimal system.

3. When I entered the website, the bottom of the page ominously flashed “errors on page” for awhile. Nothing against your blog posts, which are great, but….that is not an encouraging sign to new visitors.

In any case, I will continue to enjoy your participation in Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, The NPR News Quiz, and look forward to AOL letting go of you so that you can move on to more advanced online service providers.



I Don’t Want Too See Your Baby

Posted in Work on September 23, 2009 by MotherAdmin

Here’s an office tradition that needs to die: bringing newborns to the office to visit while you’re on maternity leave.  You are “on leave” specifically because your child is unbearable and cannot be left with anyone.  I am at work in a quiet office specifically it is next to impossible to get work done with screaming children in the background.
Enough said, I think.

The Trib Sums up Oprahpalooza Better Than I Could

Posted in Uncategorized on September 9, 2009 by MotherAdmin


Teenagers are the Fall of Man

Posted in Uncategorized on September 9, 2009 by MotherAdmin

I heard on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me the other week that humans have longest developmental period of adolescence of all species. Apparently, it takes our brain a long time to make the leap from childhood to adulthood.

I generally like teenagers. A decade ago, I was one, and a likeable one at that. But what sucks, and I’m proof of it, are teenagers in groups. I, for instance, used to terrorize the coffee bar at BP express when I was a teen in group think and drive around the neighborhood screaming out at unsuspecting citizens. Nothing rude, mind you (unless you count an unsolicited bellow as rude), but pretty group teen think when you lose the last 10 years of maturity for whatever amount of time you’re in "group". Teen groups are loud, slow, and having way more fun on a Wednesday evening at 8 pm than I am as I leave to office.

Dr. Phil would point out that my aversion is just a manifestation of my jealousy for a level of freedom I lack, and he would be right. But I would point out to Dr. Phil that even in my darkest days of teen group think, I didn’t marry Oprah.


Posted in Food & Drink, Uncategorized, Work on September 3, 2009 by MotherAdmin

I occasionally hit up Sopraffina for lunch.  Their salads are huge and a relatively good value for 7.00.  Lately, I’ve been digging the Strawberry Spinach salad, which has exactly six ingredients displayed prominently on the menu board:

* Spinach

* Strawberries

* Marinated onions

* Dried cherries

* Candied pecans

* Pomegranate dressing

I like this place because they’re efficient, too, I just have this one recurring, nagging racial profiling experience that is making me want to switch out my salad order for something less complicated:

Every time I order this salad, the staff invariably stops when they get to the part when it’s time to add the onions and asks me: “Do you want onions?”  Yes, I want onions.  I want all of the ingredients that I’m paying 7.00 for. There’s no reason to check in with me on this point, because each ingredient is listed in bold 50-point Times New Roman font right in front of my face.  If I don’t want one of those, I understand that it’s my responsibility to say something before you start making my salad.

However, I also appreciate the fact that I am a Skinny White Girl ordering a salad.  Skinny White Girls who order salads for lunch every day to tend to be pains in the asses, and the types of people who would avoid onions.  They’re also the type of people who aren’t paying attention and then raise a stink after the salad is made about the onions being included.  I know this, I accept this, and thus I see how Sopraffina’s mid-prep check in is really a responsible precautionary measure.

In the end, I think I will calmly sit back and take my daily dose of racial profiling and accept the fact that hey–we all do it.  As long as they do it with a smile and I still get my onions, I suppose it’s alright.